Ever felt like you're playing a role, waiting to be discovered as a fraud?
That was my reality (again) this week while leading a major project. Today’s post is a candid exploration of that journey through imposter syndrome, the lessons it continues to teach me, and how I used Zen Buddhism to find my footing.
Encountering the Imposter
This week's saga kicked off with our project's first steering committee meeting. As is the norm in these high-stakes gatherings, we had our "aha" moment courtesy of a keen colleague. Their sharp inquiry about plans and deliverables was like a jolt of caffeine for the team, jolting us into alignment and clarity on what needs to happen next.
And yet, there I was post-meeting, the picture of introspection, slouched in my chair and swimming in self-doubt.
"Seriously, am I too much of an introvert for this stuff?"
"Why do I always wind up in the middle of these pressure-cooker situations?"
It was imposter syndrome in full swing - that inner voice that loves to question whether I truly belong in the roles I've strived so hard to achieve.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
Before delving into how I tackled this feeling, let's define imposter syndrome. Technically, it refers to a “behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals.” This was the exact feeling I wrestled with in the meeting, a common experience for many in high-pressure environments.
Counter the Imposter with Zen
Over the years, I’ve tried a lot of things to combat imposter syndrome. Some work, some don’t. This time around, I found guidance in Zen Buddhism, particularly its emphasis on mindfulness and the present moment.
I’ve been practicing Zen Buddhism for a better part of two years now. I try to incorporate Zazen, a form of seated meditation, into my regular routines. This practice of focusing on my breath and being fully present helped to quiet the doubts in my mind.
I also embrace the concept of 'Shoshin' or 'beginner's mind.' In meetings and project tasks, I tried to see things with fresh eyes and an open mind. This approach allowed me to value my unique perspective and contributions, shifting away from comparisons and self-judgment.
These Zen practices didn't just alleviate my feelings of being an imposter; they provided a framework for appreciating my abilities and the role I play in my work environment.
Imposter Syndrome is Not The Villain
So, here's the plot twist: imposter syndrome isn't the villain; it's more like that quirky side character who unexpectedly teaches you life lessons.
It's a nudge (or sometimes a push) towards self-discovery and growth.
To my fellow self-doubters, let's not treat these moments as roadblocks. Instead, let's greet them with a knowing smile and a mindful approach. Let's transform our doubts into launchpads for our personal and professional adventures.
After all, every great story needs a bit of suspense, doesn't it?
💬 Quote of the Week
If we look at the world with a deluded body and mind, we will think that our self is permanent. But if we practice correctly and return to our true self, we will realize that nothing is permanent. - Dogen Zenji
📘 Weekly Read & Tech Tidbit
Article Highlight: It’s Elon versus the Swedish labor model 🇸🇪. Since October 27, approximately 130 Tesla technicians across various Swedish cities have gone on strike. The reason for the strike is Tesla's reluctance to agree to a collective bargaining agreement. The dispute has escalated, affecting other Nordic countries as well, with additional unions stepping in to uphold Sweden's labor practices.
Tech Spotlight: I recently acquired a Miyoo Mini Plus, a vintage-style handheld gaming console 🎮 that comes loaded with a plethora of classic games. While this purchase might have slightly dipped my productivity, it has certainly ramped up the enjoyment factor. (I'm currently engrossed in playing Xenogears!)